A friend who’s been raped may confide in you after the attack (sometimes years after). When someone tells you they’ve been sexually assaulted simply listen quietly and let the person express her/his feelings. And, don’t ask probing or judgmental questions like “Why did you leave the party with someone you didn’t know?” Remember it’s not the victim’s fault, even if they did something “stupid” that made them vulnerable. That’s NEVER an excuse for a crime.
It’s important to seek help immediately if the attack just happened, because survivors of sexual violence, especially, experience a variety of emotional and physical symptoms. Encourage your friend by presenting options, including emergency contraception (NOT-2-LATE.COM; 1-888-NOT2LATE), but let the person make her/his own choices; including doing nothing. You also want to encourage your friend to seek counseling because no one should have to go through something like this alone.
Know your own limits. Give as much emotional support as you can, but know when to cut the discussion and defer to professionals. Helping your friend can be upsetting for you too and might even make you fearful, so you may want to seek counseling yourself for a bit to get a handle on your own feelings. Crime Prevention 101
